✿ ❞ 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔

❛ if you lose yourself, i will find you. ❜

♠ There’s a shift, a flutter. It’s as if a butterfly went right past his ear, barely gracing the tips of his hair– a gentle hush, sending an unfamiliar, yet prevalent warmth across his chest. What a funny feeling to recieve from such a simply put assurance from the smaller figure, staring up at him with those huge, light-filled eyes. Why are you looking at me in that way? You dragged yourself from misery (the misery we shared together, in a way.) You reached something perhaps higher than any of us could dream of for a moment. (I tried–I swear I tried–) Hope, and in absolution, a love greater than you’ve ever been shown.
Lose himself. Chuuya wonders if she even truly knows the meaning of this phrase.
For a moment, he imagines seeing her face as his vision distorts, clouds with dark spots clotting in front of his gaze and drowning her out, his arms ravaged with something sinister under the epidermal layer. His back seizes, his legs move unaccordingly and tear ligaments with impossible speeds. His throat and eyes fill with blood as his palms raise the weight of swallowed galaxies, stinging and humming in the air, rendering every living organism around him helpless to the impossible void. Chuuya wonders what she would feel if she watched him tear himself apart. He wonders if she could stop him from tearing into her.
This hurts him to imagine, Chuuya notes to himself in surprise. He doesn’t want to think about it anymore. He shakes it off. He’s good at doing that for a lot of things, and she…She wants to be good at making him feel all right.
Simple, but valuable. Rare. Sort of like a butterfly.
Chuuya finally lets himself smile, sigh. He pats her cheek with a warm, leather-clad palm, moves it to grip her shoulder with a squeeze, a show of power that he knows she’ll understand, forearm muscles flexing for a minute. His face draws serious as he bends down quickly, forehead creasing.
“I know. We still have each other’s backs. That’s a vow we took at the very beginning, and it can’t be broken by anything. That’s trust.” Oh, sweet girl.
You can’t be the one to find me.