✿ ❞ 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔

"You deserve better." Three words, a quick statement, a sentence that slipped from the girl's lips before she realised it. If she could, she'd take them back ( because who was she to show sympathy towards someone like Akutagawa, who saw value in killing and manipulated her for years? ); however, she also knew that holding onto petty grudges against others wouldn't help her grow in the end. Akutagawa, of course, ignored everything she said anyway, so there'd be no point in worrying too much.

canisaevus:

‘ You deserve bullet holes if you can’t figure out how to protect yourself with your ability. ’
The words came from lips fixed in a bored scowl, the devil’s eyes set just above them ━ that was the last time someone had ever told him he ‘deserved’ something. It was scripture etched into pallor, a commandment that was present in every word exhumed from his body; ONLY THOSE WITH STRENGTH DESERVE TO LIVE. With actions came due consequences, each heartbeat the result of a ruthless desire. He deserved to survive, because he devoured the weak without remorse. And he deserved the death that clung to him, preying on the breath from his lungs just as he stole from others. These are the two karmas he had wrought from his existence. Nothing more, nothing less.
It is for this reason Akutagawa was taken aback by her utterance, nearly turning to bore into her skull with a look of disbelief. Were the three words a pithy offering to him? If they were, they tasted foul on his tongue; he was not aware she could craft weapons so saccharine.
He did not know what compelled the statement to escape her, the child often mute before him. Did she seek atonement? Or peace? Their freshly severed ties did not warrant favorable sentiments of any kind, not when all he had done was steep her in darkness when she desperately longed for the light. Akutagawa was a flesh-bound shadow that suffocated her, his mere presence threatening to snuff out the delusion she had finally attained. A new resilience was present in her eyes, but he did not miss the way she faltered, hesitated with each silent movement when his gaze fell upon her.
He was not deserving of ‘better,’ regardless of what it entailed, nor did he deserve the pity of a naive child. Akutagawa only found both to be vulgar in their candor. Perhaps she had truly been blinded when bathed in the sun.
In the end, he chose not to acknowledge the child, for she was victim to another illusion that clouded her judgement in this gilded life of hers. She was dismissed with finality as he strode past without even a glance given at his former subordinate. (Three simple words with not a breath of value. Yet they would remain as a haunting in the back of his mind.)