roleplayiing-memes:

parks and recreation; starter sentences.

• “Alcohol is fun and delicious.”
• “If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party.”
• “I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I’m doing it really, really well.”
• “One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine.”
• “I’m not interested in caring about people.”
• “At least I didn’t make any new friendships.”
• “Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.”
• “I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
• “I have to ask this, but how many legs did that dog have when you found him?“
• “Calzones are pointless. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir.
• “I love games that turn people against each other.”
• “Treat. Yo. Self.”
• “If you ever speak to me in Spanish, please use the formal ‘usted’.”
• “I declare that everything you are saying is stupid.”
• “My instinct is to be mean to you.”
• “When people get chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I really don’t care about them.”
• “The air is too fresh. It’s disgusting.”
• “I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to.”
• “Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless.”
• “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
• “Earlier I was licking icing off my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.”
• “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.”
• “I love you and I like you.”
• “I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”
• “I want to punch you in the face so bad right now.”
• “I typed up your symptoms on this thing here and it says you may have network connectivity problems.”
• “On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed off are you?”
• “I once threw a beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece.”
• “This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since… Wow - I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!”
• “We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.”
• “Slowing down is not really my jam.”
• “I love this idea and I love me for thinking of it.”
• “Take the easy way out. I always do! It’s easy!”
• “Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.”
• “No one achieves anything alone.”